Let’s hear it for the girls

by mckennabailey

I’m annoyed. And confused. But mostly annoyed.

If you took a look at the post I did yesterday, I referenced a few YouTube stars, who happen to be women, who also happen to be really great friends.

Hannah Hart and Grace Helbig, along with a third woman, Mamrie Hart are what the Internet (courtesy of Tumblr) calls The Holy Trinity. They are three very funny, very different comedians who post their content on YouTube weekly.

None of that is annoying. In fact, I am a huge fan of all of them. They are the Internet’s version of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, and the world needs more versions of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. The thing that annoys me is that when we talk about them we have to qualify them as women comedians, and even more irrelevant women comedians who are friends. 

Somewhere along the way, society got the brilliant idea to pit women against each other – claiming that we just don’t get along. We’re too catty, we really only want each other’s men, and we don’t want each other to do well. And I get it, if you watch any of The Real Housewives entities, that claim would be supported 100%.

But here’s the thing – that’s a television show, where people are paid based on ratings. The more drama – the more money in their pockets. I don’t know the exact numbers, but I do know that “boring” cast members never last more than a season. If you’re not yelling and throwing drinks on people, you’re not bringing in the viewers and you’re useless.

This asinine display between women becomes the standard of female relationships because it is what the media and the general public has in common as an example, but it’s not a genuine reflection of anything other than mindless drama.

(Side note: I’m not hating on The Real Housewives in any way – I will binge watch with the best of them. But as an intelligent person, I understand that none of it is real and the women are just trying to make some cash.)

Take a second, though, and try to look  for real examples of women’s friendships – not women who get paid per viewer – and you’ll probably see something really beautiful and unique. Observing women together reveals a sort of intimacy that doesn’t happen that often in other relationships. There’s an exchange of emotions, thoughts and feelings that doesn’t happen in other dynamics.

More importantly, though, women together are really funny. I’m not sure there’s a difference in quality of comedy when compared to any other pairing, but there is a difference in the way it’s perceived. Especially by other women. It’s unusually refreshing to see two (or more) women getting along and making each other laugh. Watching two women create comedy and joy together is such a departure from what we’re told women are like that when it happens all women celebrate it. And not because it gives us hope that maybe one day all women will work together in this way. It’s because we finally see a reflection of our relationships with each other in real life. We’re seeing someone represent us in a way that we recognize and identify with.

We were constantly told by other people who women don’t get along, so we started to believe it. But we have to stop because we all know in the back of our minds that the catty women are the exception, not the rule. The Holy Trinity is the rule. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are the rule. Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox are the rule. You and your work best friend are the rule. Sisters are the rule. That one girl no one likes because she’s mean? She’s the exception. Her general suckiness is a reflection of her personality, not her gender.

I’m not sure how to end this rant, but I think I’ve said mostly all I wanted to say. I just think it’s important to spread the word that women do get along and are hilarious and we don’t have to continue to hate on each other just because other people tell us that’s what we do. We’re smarter than that.

I’ll be back on Wednesday for something a little less serious. Or maybe not. We’ll see.

Thank you for coming by.